What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
09.06.2025 11:09
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Why do almost all the girls on Quora look beautiful?
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Drinking coffee could help you age better, according to this Harvard study. - Stewartville Star
It was going to be , some day.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Poll: Are You Happy with Your PS Plus Essential Games for June 2025? - Push Square
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I was very sick at this time too.
I was 9 years of age.
So whats the point in blame.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Chicago Bears offense has 94-yard TD drive in 2 minute drill at minicamp - Windy City Gridiron
All the time i was locked up.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
What is the difference between the Bible and the Qur'an?
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
James Webb Detects Never-Before-Seen Molecule on Scorching Exoplanet - The Daily Galaxy
My life is so biszare .
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Aston Martin announce Stroll to miss Spanish Grand Prix - F1
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
VMware drops the lowest tier of its partner program – except in Europe - theregister.com
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
One cannot live in the past .
This Week In Space podcast: Episode 163 — The Trials of Starship - Space
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
My Tried and True Trick to Combine Multiple PDFs Free on Windows and Mac - CNET
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
But, we were locked up after school.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Analyst Suggests Apple Might be Considering Buying Unity After Legal Defeat to Epic Games - 80 Level
Ive learnt so much.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Weight loss connected to nerve cells in the brain, study finds - The Brighter Side of News
They are buried together, in the same grave..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I never cut or harmed myself..
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I said to her
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Put me off passion for life!!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Would this be the day?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
This is soul school!.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
(And it was in our own minds.)
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I write beautiful poetry .
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Im still living with it.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
She loved him until the end.
As i do to all so called friends.?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I waited trembling.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
And i lived it daily.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I couldn’t, believe it.
We were not on the streets..
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I was scared of men, in general
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
But ive been too sick for many years..
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Especially a lifetime of it.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
We all went to grammer schools
Comes on , in middle age.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
My family never makes their pension either.
So, i spoilt her more .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Why did i forgive my father ?
She wouldn,t have been !
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
She found it foreign!.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I don,t even have a pension.
I was seconnd youngest,
When she asked me how she looked .
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
She was in good health!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
But it wasn’t much.
He knew the spot.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I have no regrets .
What did i know ?
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I think the readers, may guess!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
She married twice! .
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I will be 64.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Who then, do I blame.?
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.